It’s barely been 24 hours yet I’m tired of feeling like this. Do you know what you’ve done to me? Did you ever think about the consequences, or the repercussions of your actions? You’ve torn me apart, literally ripping my heart to pieces. I’ve never felt so much pain in my life. I’ve never felt so empty and unworthy….I’ve never loved like I love you. I put my all, my everything, all that I had, all that I wanted, my hopes, my dreams, my entire heart and life into your hands. You proceeded to tear it all apart.
Why would I give you so much power, why would I let you fill my ears and heart with something that wasn’t going to last? If I knew this would happen, I wouldn’t have given myself to you so easily. I love you like no other in this world, don’t tell me I’m the best you’ve ever had that doesn’t help ease the pain you’re causing me. You know things about me that no one knows. I literally gave you all of me, no filters, no walls, no blocks. So why would you turn around and do this to me?
The fact that I’m texting you & you seem so relieved like everything’s okay just hurts me even more. I have to pretend that I’m content with this. Because in all reality, if you’re not happy with me then there’s something wrong with me.
I wish I could’ve known….you’ve told me that there was nothing I did, that it was you, but I don’t care. I’d fight for you til the day that I died if that meant that in the end I could have you back. I’d give away all that I have to have you back. I’d give everything, no questions asked. To have everything we had back, I’d do anything I had to. But that’s my downfall. You obviously don’t feel the same way anymore.
You’ve pushed me back into a place where I thought I’d never go. I’ve never felt so low & unworthy in my life and it KILLS me that I’ve given you so much power over my life and this is what happens.
—- forever hurting.
I wrote this about a year ago. Can we talk about my progress?
And also a big fuck you to my ex.
I’m much better now.